Process of Elimination

Hello my name is FEAR! You may not know who I am but I certainly know who you are. I’m the one who speaks negative thoughts in your head. I’m responsible for ruining that important relationship. And most importantly, I am the one responsible for holding you back. I enjoy your company and want to keep you for myself. You make me feel good when you give into me. I enjoy hearing you tell yourself  that you can’t do something. That gives me power, and I like controlling you. Control is my modus operandi. I must have it. I’m smart enough to know that if you ever begin to listen and respond to truth, then I will lose you forever. And that would be bad for me.

Is today your opportunity for change? Or will you allow fear to continue to control you? You have the power to decide.

Future Focused

Got Love? Check.

Today I want to share with you  my annual State of the Heart Address.

Last year, I made a vow to myself that no matter what happened, I would make a choice to wrap myself up in a Love Bubble.  My Love Bubble has been a tremendous eye opener. It has opened my eyes to blessings that I wasn’t able to see before.  My Love Bubble has literally changed my life, world, and spirit.

So this Valentine’s Day is unlike any other. I have a greater appreciation for myself and everything in my life. During the darker moments of my life last year, the only thing that changed was my thinking.  Through my thoughts, I thought myself a beautiful existence. Through my thoughts, I thought myself bigger than any circumstance. Through my thoughts, I thought myself as love and the desire to be a blessing to others. Lastly, through my thoughts, I thought myself blessed beyond measure! And today, I am all of these things,  through my thoughts!

 

What is your State of the Heart report?

Future Focused

Soul Food

Years ago, I had a tremendous battle with anxiety. But on the outside, people told me I always looked cool, calm, and collected. It was my secret shame. I thought, if others are not able to see the torment I feel on the inside, then I must be okay.  That line of thinking became a source of pride for me.  If you notice, I was living with unhealthy doses of shame and pride. Two very powerful ingredients for self-destruction.

As expected, my carefully constructed world came to a screeching halt.  It was time for me to make serious changes. My pride and shame cost someone like me a high price. I began to lose my self-respect and sense of personal intergrity. So I began to seek help from various sources to help me overcome this demon.

The biggest lesson I learned was that I have power over my thoughts. So I payed close attention to what I was feeding my soul. Such a simple assignment yielded great results. So I went into action by removing anything and anyone that was negative in my life. For example, I stopped watching negative tv, I spent more time with people who nurished my soul, and every day I would celebrate something that I admire about myself. I was blown away at the difference this made in my life.

Today, I am the author of my destiny. No longer a passive bystander of life. I make it a great day or I make it a not so good day. Either way, I empower myself to be whatever I choose. I feed my soul whatever it needs to shine brightly!

 

What kind of Soul Food have you been eating?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Future Focused

 

 

I Wanna Play Too!

Seems like lately, I have met many people who feel isolated while in the midst of a crowd. They seemed genuinely confused by their feelings until I explained to them that our lives were designed for balance and healthy connections.

Many of us excel on our jobs while others seem to excel in their personal lives. One of the lessons I learned years ago was, the energy I put into my career is the same energy I need to have for my personal relationships. So many times I felt like an outsider, even when I was  with friends and loved ones. It wasn’t until I began living in the moment did I experience the sense of belonging that my heart desired.

Life is too short and wonderful to experience it without good quality relationships. Take the necessary steps to live a more balanced and connected lifestyle.

What can you do to have healthier relationships?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Future Focused

Voices In My Head

Not too long ago, I was talking with a client about helping him with his relationships and how to improve them.  His story reminded me of  my past struggles in relationships.  I shared with him how negative self-talk was playing a powerful role in damaging my relationships.  Most importantly, my relationship with myself.  Because I thought of myself in a negative way, my feelings, choices, and behaviors fell in line with my thoughts. My turning point came when I woke up feeling sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. I wanted better for myself because I knew I deserved better.  I was finally able to accept that I was created for a beautiful purpose and was willing to do whatever necessary to take control of my destiny.  Life coaching was a wonderful experience in my life. But I will always be thankful that I gave myself permission to live in the light and no longer exist in the darkness!

What do your voices say to you?

Future Focused

 

How I Got Over

Life can be amazing on many levels. A few days ago, I was reminded of just how far I have come as a human being. I recalled many dark and traumatic places and times.  Those times felt so real that I believed it was my only reality.  Fast forward to years later, and I can see just how many negative circumstances that I successfully overcome.

My secrets to success have been my deep spirituality and surrounding myself with healthy and trustworthy people.  I have learned to not only to spend quality time with God, but to listen to His voice and follow through.  And just when I needed something the most, the right person(s) was always there.  My loving and life saving support system.

Each life experience has helped to make me into the woman I am today.  So in this moment is a woman grateful for her life and the ability to live it to the fullest!  I am proud of me!

What have you overcome?

Future Focused

Can’t We All Just Get Along? No really, I’m Serious! Part 2

Anyone that knows me, is well aware that I live by the philosophy of , “Live and Let Live!”  My heart truly believes that everyone has the right to live a life that is most authentic to their spirit.  Rarely, will I ever join in unproductive debates about politics, religion, or things that I believe are wrong about a particular person.  For as long as I can remember, my mind focuses on discussing ideas and possibilities rather than problems and negativity. But once in a blue moon, I find it hard to remain silent about a particular situation.  So for those of you that normally read my blog posts, I warn you now that this post will have some differences.

I’m sure there are very few people that have not heard about the death of Travon Martin and the involvement of George Zimmerman.  There have been plenty of moments when secretly I have wept for not only Travon and his family, but also the state of humanity.

Over the past few weeks, I have heard so many bizarre and disturbing details that for my emotional sanity, I have purposefully stayed away from any news concerning the case.  That was until this morning.

I was checking my email and I saw a news story about Spike Lee apologizing for a retweet.  Curiosity got the best of me and I clicked on the link to read the story.  Needless to say, I was horrified at what I read. Spike Lee retweets the incorrect address of George Zimmerman to his twitter followers. Consequently displacing an elderly couple in their 70′s. OMG! It is my understanding that this couple feared for their physical and emotional safety.  Could you imagine walking to your mailbox and receiving hate mail from strangers, or stepping outside your door and seeing strange packages from people you do not know?  What is the likelihood that this elderly couple in their 70′s tweet and facebook? Literally, you go to bed feeling reasonably safe only to wake up and discover that you are the most hated person in America and not knowing what you did to whomever to upset them.

Here’s the point of this long rant. Adding hatred to perceived hate will not bring  justice, peace, or healing. What was Spike Lee and Rosanne Barr thinking? I really would like to hear them say what positive outcome they hoped for by giving what they thought was George Zimmerman’s address. In my opinion, here we have two celebrities that have a well documented  histories of public scandal and feeling misunderstood.  I’m pretty sure there was a time in their careers that the media and the jury of public opinion have mercilessly crucified them, justified or not.  But rarely have I heard of anyone being persecuted or judged, later tell stories of how much they appreciated that season persecution.

Other than justice, peace, and healing for everyone involved, I pray most for Trayvon Martin’s life to serve as a powerful reminder of why love is so very important. The reason why stereotypes and racial profiling is tolerated and used by us all, (be honest with yourself here) is because of our resistance to step outside of our comfort zones and get to know people that are different from ourselves.  That doesn’t mean that you will like everyone, but you will at least have a working knowledge of the differences that make each person unique.

WAKE UP people! Start loving yourselves so that you are not quick to focus on what you see as a problem in someone else.  Get rid of all people and things that feed negativity into your spirit. Start asking yourself why someone or something has you so angry. Love yourself enough to grow through the experience and remember to be patient with others in their journey.  And never forget how love changed you for the better!

Are you willing to change the not-so-nice parts of your personality?

Future Focused

Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?

Trying to change someone is a waste of time.  The very thought

of changing someone is  saying that they are not good enough as

they are, and it is soaked with judgement and disapproval.  That is

not a thought of appreciation or love, and those thoughts will only

bring separation between you and that person.

You must look for the good in people to have more of it appear. As

you look only for the good things in a person, you will be amazed at

what your new focus reveals.

The Secret

 

What do you admire most about your loved ones?

Future Focused

Cha-Cha-Cha Changes

There are very few things in this life that are sure or guaranteed.  One of them is change.  Change will happen with or without our permission.  The key is to embrace its presence.  Sometimes it may feel that the world should stop for our needs. However, could it be that a force greater than ourselves is trying to lead us to the things that we desire most?

How will you handle change?

Future Focused

Self Esteem: False and Destructive Concepts of Human Behavior

1. 1.   If you act bad, you are bad.
   2.   Winning is the only thing that counts.
   3.   Losers and low achievers do not counts.
   4.   You should feel guilty for your mistakes, defeats, and failures because you
   could have done better if you tried harder.
   5.   It is wrong for you to love yourself.
   6.   You should be perfect. You should have done better.
   7.   Your worth is determined by how much or how well you do compared to others.
   8.   You know better so you should have done better.
   9.   You can validate your worth and justify your existence only through exceptional
   achievements and approval and acceptance of others.
   10. Outside forces, circumstances and the actions and attitudes of others are
   responsible for your unhappiness and hurting.
   11. Others have the authority and power to insult you and put you down.
   12. Self-indulgence and laziness are evidence of a weak will.
   13. There are strong people and weak people. A strong person is one who can
   accomplish anything through a sheer act or will.
   14. Guilt is essential to motivate you to correct your mistakes and do better in the future.
   15. You should deny your own needs to serve the needs of others.
   16. You must fulfill the demands and expectations of others because you need
   their acceptance and approval in order to be happy.
   17. Your happiness depends on how much money, power, and prestige you manage
   to accumulate.

How will you re-program your thinking?
Future Focused