I write this note as a human being who truly understands what it means to have nothing. No money, friends, or family. All at different points of my life, but just a few short years ago, all at the same time. I have vivid memories of feeling so alone that the silence in my head was deafening. No matter how hard I tried to reach out to others, I felt as if I were not accomplishing anything but continued frustration and anger.
Soon after that, I began to let go of what control I thought that I had and just allowed peace to be still. I began to look for the lessons in the loneliness. I knew that I never wanted to be in this position again, so I prayed and asked God to help me pass the test the first time around.
Over a period of time I began to see the importance of my season. I harbored alot of anger, resentment, and disappointments at people in my life who I felt hurt me. My expectations of people were unfair. I was stubborn, hardheaded, and hardhearted. And Lord knows, my pain was the only pain that mattered. By losing it all, I was able to find the beauty and joy in everything and everyone. Life was precious because I was slowly but surely finding me again. My attitude became that of humility and gratitude. I expected nothing and appreciated everything. That doesn’t mean that I don’t set standards or any expectations of myself or anyone else. It just means that now they are more in tune with reality.
My feelings of fortune lies in my attitude and thinking. Understanding is a key weapon in my arsenal. It helps me to fight off negativity. Today, I think that I am a very blessed person. I feel as if I have a “Blessings Storage Bin” just to handle all of the overflow. But to an outsider looking in, they might not see much. I have very few material possessions, I live a simple life without the trappings, and I don’t care for big/fancy things. But what I do have is a humbled and grateful heart and a much appreciated peace of mind. I truly believe that If God had given me these things before my season of lonliness then I would have simply dismissed them or expected Him to give them to me and never appreciated their worth.
Life has and will continue to take me to very interesting places, but now I feel fortunate to expereince any and everything with any and everyone.
What are your life lessons?