Future Focused Coaching

Shenita Sanders, MA, CPPC

Just As I Am


Over the past few months, I have been meditating on my life and the choices I have made.  This journey began as a result of an unfortunate encounter with a loved one.  We’ve all been there before, they say something mean and for whatever reason, those words pierce like a flaming arrow through the heart.  But, I have learned to use these moments as precious opportunities for growth.

Sometimes, miracles are delivered to us in the most unique ways.  As a result of my soul searching, I now have a clearer vision for my life’s purpose. I learned that everything about me is a tremendous blessing that God is wanting to use for a glorious purpose. Just imagine for a moment, that even the not so nice parts of me, God still loves me and can use them to be a blessing. Believing that humbles me and makes me feel loved beyond measure. It gives me the power I need to love, forgive, and accept who I am. Also, being accepted just as I am gives me the courage to stop focusing on what I think is wrong with me, and use that energy to focus on what I love about me. Suddenly, I am someone who realizes that considering all the twist and turns my life has dealt me, I did the best I could with what I had at that moment. And this thinking has completely transformed the way I accept, love, and validate myself.

 

Do you struggle with self acceptance?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Future Focused

 

child-kissing-mirror2

Advertisements

3 comments on “Just As I Am

  1. Kathy Crawford
    March 3, 2014

    I can honestly say that I have been so Blessed beyond measure to realize that throughout my life, every single event, moment, + or – has brought me to the human I am today. I was blessed with this at a much younger age through my spiritual growth. I realized that if any one thing, moment, event had not occurred exactly as it had, that I would not be ‘who I am’… and I am ‘PROUD’ of who I am, ‘GRATEFUL’ of who I am… striving daily to be the best human spirit I can be each and every day Blessed with. Just a note…. I had a conversation with my Dad many years ago, who had carried so much guilt for way too many years for not being the ‘Father’ he felt he should have been. As well as others thought too. I shared with him these exact words…”Dad, I want you to know that I would not want one thing to have been different in my life, not one moment, one event, nothing! I have NO REGRETS, NO RESENTMENTS, NONE… for they have brought me to ‘who I am’ and for this I am beyond Blessed & Grateful. Now, Dad… You know GOD LOVES YOU, you know that He would never want you to carry this guilt… You know that once you ask for forgiveness,,, ‘IT IS DONE’! Period Dad,, He doesn’t want/expect you to continue to carry burden and guilt, you are not giving Him His Glory. You were the best you could be at the time of your life. And actually, looking at how you grew up, I can see in your eyes how you believed you were doing a good job as a Father,,, far better life than you had ever had (unimaginable I might add). So, you see Dad, all things happen ‘for a reason’ .. in ‘their own time/His time/Right time’. So no more worries Dad, You’ve already been ‘FORGIVEN’… He LOVES you, and I LOVE you! Remember,,, ‘NO REGRETS, NO RESENTMENTS, & I WOULDN’T CHANGE ONE SECOND OF HOW MY LIFE HAS PLAYED OUT! This amazed and left a profound affect on my Dad. To this day he still speaks of it to his ‘friends’. He says that I have ‘wisdom beyond my years’!

    With all of this being said, feeling secure, at peace within myself, content/happy from within ( which is truly where happiness must originate nor will there ever be a successful/happy relationship with another being) I find myself with a QUESTION?

    QUESTION? Are there possibly people who are just simply ‘meant’ to be alone/unmarried? Not a hermit, unsocial,, but not married? Is this a possibility? I believe the answer to be yes. I believe that we are all unique.. and there is no ‘right vs wrong’ to this. However, I would like your perception, beliefs, thoughts on the subject if you ever have a chance. I know you must stay so busy, and I am so PROUD of all your work. You are such a ‘TRUE INSPIRATION’ in which I admire greatly.

    Sincerely,

    K

    Like

    • Future Focused
      March 4, 2014

      Hi There Kathy. I read your comment and thought, “Wow! You are an amazing woman!” What you have been able to do is so very crucial to a happier and healthier life. Forgiveness is one of the best gifts humans have at our disposal. Now, to answer your question. I will preface my statement by saying, I believe choices determine your destiny. So having said that, yes, I believe people choose to be single/alone. We all either make that choice passively or actively. When I talk with my clients regarding this very subject, I usually get some pretty weird looks. So here it goes. Many of my female clients wonder why they have a difficult time either getting into or maintaining a relationship. And more often than not, It comes down to the environment they are creating for themselves. If they are single and have a difficult time finding a healthy relationship, then I help them see all of the unconscious behaviors that are counterproductive to their goals. For example, having unrealistic expectations/demands from potential suitors. Now, for women who have difficulty maintaining a healthy relationship, being unwilling to be flexible and allow a new person into your physical and emotional space can be difficult on a relationship. Then, I have met women who are making an active choice to be single and live an empowered life because of that choice. I love my job so much. I get to help women see how making small and significant adjustments, creates the life they always desired but never thought possible. Thank you so much for your feedback, comment, and question. I miss seeing that smile of yours. Stay blessed my friend!

      Like

      • Kathy Crawford
        March 7, 2014

        Thanks so much for your reply! And oh, how I miss seeing that bright smile of yours as well my friend! I am ever so blessed and grateful our paths crossed. I am so ‘proud’ and beyond ‘happy’ for you! Doing ‘WHAT YOU LOVE’! Not to mention that in doing so, it is in way of helping others! A True Blessing Indeed!

        Miss you tons, thanks for your response!

        Kathy with a “K”… all day! 😉

        Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: