Category Archives: Heart

Love Life

Each morning is a new opportunity to become the person that

you were created to be.  We are all made to live strong,

fearless, and abundant lives.  The ability to love in many

directions puts us on the path to reap a great harvest.

 

How many directions will you love?

Future Focused

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Trouble Don’t Last Always

Seasons come and seasons go. The Season of Turbulence is no exception.  We all must face the bitterness of trouble’s sting.  However, it is helpful to remember that while “going” through, we must open our hearts to “grow” through the lessons our Season of Turbulence is teaching.

Trouble don’t last always, but the blessings we receive from trouble can.  So, don’t let trouble trouble you. Begin to trouble your troubles!

 

How will you “grow” through your troubles?

Future Focused

A Closed Mouth Never Gets Fed

Questions, questions, questions. Life is filled with them. As children we are taught
that the only stupid question is the one not asked. When we begin to ask life questions,
it can signify that we are undergoing a major shift.

Life and all of its truths are readily available to us all at any given moment. However,
the ones who are courageous enough to ask the right questions are able to discover
and receive truth.

When our hearts deeply search for answers to life questions, we must remain open
for those answers to come in new expected and unexpected ways.  A life filled with
meaning and purpose is one that has been examined.

What questions would you like to ask?
Future Focused

Food For Thought

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She
hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always
there for her. She told her boyfriend, “If I could only see
the world, I would marry you.”

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages
came off, she was able to see everything, including her
boyfriend.

He asked her, “Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?” The
girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The
sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn’t expected
that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life
led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her
saying: “Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before
they were yours, they were mine.”

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes.
Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who
was always by their side in the most painful situations.

Life Is a Gift

Today before you say an unkind word – Think of someone who can’t
speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food – Think of someone
who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife – Think of someone
who’s crying out to GOD for a companion.

Today before you complain about life – Think of someone who went
too early to heaven.

Before whining about the distance you drive- Think of someone who
walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job – Think of the
unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your
job.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down – Put a smile on
your face and think: you’re alive and still around.

Author Unknown

How do you show your love to others?

Future Focused

Picture of Peace

There once was a king who offered a prize to the artist who would paint the best picture of peace. Many artists tried. The king looked at all the pictures. But there were only two he really liked, and he had to choose between them.
One picture was of a calm lake. The lake was a perfect mirror for peaceful toweing mountains all around it. Overhead was a blue sky with fluffy white clouds. All who saw this picture thought that it was a perfect picture of peace.
The other picture had mountains, too. But these were rugged and bare. Above was an angry sky, from which rain fell and in which lightining played. Down the side of the mountain rumbled a foaming waterfall. This did not look peaceful at all.
But when the king looked closely, he saw behind the waterfall a tiny brush growing in a crack in the rock. In the bush a mother bird had built her nest. There, in the midst of the rush of angry water, sat the mother bird on her nest- in perfect peace.
Which picture do you think won the prize? The king choose the second picture. Do you know why?
“Because,” explained the king, “peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart. That is the real meaning of peace.”

Author: Catherine Marshall

How can you find peace during your storm?
Fututre Focused

The Thrill Is Gone

I love the idea of marriage and all that it represents.  Having an intimate and intense connection with another human heart is a wonderful experience.  As both a professional life coach and therapist, I often hear the many downsides of a marital relationship.  So much that it would feel like a long-lasting, healthy, and intense connection does not exist. 

Well, as in all things in life, it simply comes down to a matter of choice.  Will I choose to do what is necessary for my relationship?  Will I choose to make my spouse a priority?  Will I choose to properly nourish my spirit so that I can give to my spouse?

If you struggle within your relationship, make a list of things that you wish to change.  Talk with your partner and compare lists. Take an honest evaluation of yourself and how your actions affect the relationship.  Then talk with your partner about which concern you would like to first resolve.

Remember to maintain an open heart and mind when discussing these issues.  For some, being vulnerable can be intimidating, but as long as you know your partner is making an honest effort with you, then it might be helpful to allow them to go at a comfortable pace.

Remember, the race is not given to the swift, but to the one that endureth.  Ecclesiastes 9:11

What makes your relationship worth fighting for?

Future Focused

Marriage

MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.– At least, in the eyes of our son— I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Do you have intimacy in your relationships?
Future Focused